I move in approximately 48 hours.
I am completely freaked out.
Not freaked out in a bad way - but freaked out in a "holy crap things are really changing" way.
I've been in the same apartment for almost five years. Two of those years with a roommate, and almost three flying solo....well, solo with two beautiful kitties. In 48 hours I'm moving in with a boy, and I've never lived with a boy before - well at least a boy I've been romantically involved with.
My apartment at the moment is half packed. Whatever isn't packed has been strewn about in utter chaos. I guess that kind of describes how I feel right now. Half of me is all neat and put together - papers signed, movers scheduled, T's crossed, I's dotted. The other half - complete manic mess. My landlord called me today and informed me that he is showing some woman my apartment - some woman who recently separated from her fiance, and is really interested in my building. My landlord asked if I would be home so that I could answer any questions she may have about the apartment.
"Did you like living here?" She might ask. To which I would respond with.....
"I absolutely loved living here. The neighbors in the house to the right are amazingly nice, and always say hello when we bump into each other. Their Yorkie is named Ty, and he loves to lick your face. The other apartments in the building have a very high turnover. People come, they live for a year, and then they move on - using this building as a sort of transition station. The man on the second floor is a different case - he's been here for years, and uses this apartment when he travels. No one knows what he does for work, or where he really lives because he rarely says hello, rarely makes eye contact, and never smiles. Odd duck. You are in walking distance to anything you could ever need: 3 coffee shops, a gym, liquor store, sushi, pizza, and a dozen or so of boutiques and shops - great to browse through, but too expensive to buy anything. Holiday town parades come right down our street and passed the front door - great if you love parades, bad if you dislike bagpipes blaring into your bedroom window at 10 am. The park around the corner sometimes has community yard sales, and art shows, and even a carnival. During the summer a band plays oldies every Wednesday night in the park - and you can hear the music waft in through the living room window. It's a beautiful town in the winter - lights on every tree that line the street - everyone immersed in the Christmas spirit - the driveway doesn't get plowed in a timely manner, and they rarely shovel the walkways and steps. It's quiet and quaint and I absolutely loved living here."
My kitties and I have made a wonderful home here. I've learned a lot about myself living here. I've grown up, I've faced fears, I've grown strong. I've started new jobs, and ended old careers. Started relationships, broke off relationships, and started new relationships over again. I've loved hard, laughed hard, cried hard, fallen down my stairs hard (cuffed pants, and spike heels: bad combination). I've slept in, had sleep overs, made breakfast, made love, fought, and forgave in this apartment.
And now it's time to move on, and I'm sad. I am moving in to a beautiful house with a man I love and adore, but there is no denying that I'm leaving behind a part of my life, and beginning a new journey. It's scary when what you've known for so long will no longer be, even if what you're heading into is absolutely wonderful and what you've always wanted.
To quote Semisonic:
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end."
And to quote my boy Gavin Degraw (my boy because I HEART him):
"Oh, this is the start of something good. Don't you agree?"