Monday, August 23, 2010

Missing In Action

Well hello there! I've been terribly neglecting my blog, and I have no real reason why.

It's Monday morning again, and It's August 23rd.

August 23rd.

Ewwww. August 23rd. Summer is almost over. The rain and the cool weather today makes me think of fall.....which is obviously right around the corner.

To be honest, I'm looking forward to fall and winter this year. Mainly because this is the last time I'll be spending these seasons as a single gal. I'm technically not single single but I am unmarried. This will be my last year as unmarried.


And speaking of married, most of the big wedding plans are completed. We are meeting with the DJ this week, and then the last big plan we have to make is finding a florist. Everything else is done.

The wedding ball is officially in motion.

Happy Monday!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


I struggle with topics to talk about on this blog. Not that I don't have tons to say - it's just that I'm very concerned about offending people. I suppose it's MY blog, and I'm allowed to write what I see fit - but with friends and some family reading - I dread the day when the phone rings and one of them is on the other line stating, "Whoa, you were out of line."

I've had one particular topic floating in my head for months. I've been dying to talk about it, but have been reluctant for fear of the backlash that might come my way. At the same time, I've never been one to NOT speak my mind, and my "big mouth" has gotten me into hot water more times than I can count. I also love to get people talking - and talking in a passionate way. I have the knack of either bringing out good passion or bad passion - either way it's passion just the same and I love to get people going.......

So I'm going to go there. For those of you easily offended, I advise to skip this post. For those of you interested in my slightly controversial post, read on....

Prior to purchasing my home approximately one year ago, I lived (rented) in a very affluent town about 40 minutes north of Boston. I wanted to remain in this town but could not afford to purchase a home. Wait, I take that back. I could afford a home - but one that was small and lacking all the amenities that my current home has. So I ventured about 15 minutes north of said affluent town and that is where I ended up purchasing. The town I currently reside in has a mix of people - predominantly middle class and lower class.

I am fortunate enough to have a grocery store right down the street which makes food shopping extremely easy.

Prepare yourselves....this is where I get slightly nasty.....

I've been shopping at this grocery store for about a year now, and about 6 months ago I noticed that everyone around me was purchasing their groceries with government assistance.


Now, every time I go to the grocery store I play a little game of "who is buying their groceries with my hard earned money." Yesterday the shopper in front of me, the shopper in back of me, and the shopper in the next lane over all whipped out their little handy dandy Massachusetts government assistance card.

Let the nastiness begin.

I'm getting angrier and angrier each and every time I stand in the check out line. Now, as a disclaimer, I did not come from an affluent home. My mother was a single mother, my father did not pay child support, and we actually qualified for government assistance. My mother was too proud to go on welfare, HOWEVER, I did take advantage of the free breakfast and free lunch programs that were offered at school. So technically, I've sucked at the teat of government assistance.

I feel extremely fortunate to have everything that I have - but I have all I have because I've worked so hard for it. It took me six years to complete my undergraduate degree because I worked for the University full time in order to take advantage of their free tuition for employees program. I received my Masters degree by taking advantage of tuition reimbursement programs from my employer. I've rolled coins, I've clipped coupons, I've shopped sales, I've worn used clothing, I've worked two jobs at any given time so that I can afford the things that I have.

So when I see these women with perfectly manicured nails handing their government assistance card over to the cashier that they retrieved from their Coach purse, I get irate. They notoriously have two carts stuffed FULL of sodas, and cakes, and candies, and CRAP and I'm the one paying for it. I watch them as they pay cash for toys for each one of the 3, 4, 5 children they have tugging along. I've had this conversation with friends that will ask, "don't you feel bad for the children?"

I do feel bad for the children - but I feel bad for them because they're the children of parents that are setting a horrific example for them. They are teaching them to have lots of babies, and to rest assured, the government will take care of them.

To top it off, Brian's sister is a teacher in this town, and has many of these children in her classroom. Most recently one of the students, a 12 year old girl, became pregnant - allegedly by one of her mother's boyfriends. She is keeping the baby and most likely going on government assistance.

Government assistance isn't the answer. Mandatory adoption placement maybe? Sterilization?

If you can't afford your children - it shouldn't be up to me to afford them for you.

Bring on the hate comments.....I can take it.....

Monday, August 2, 2010


Life around our household is business as usual.

Brian and I aren't very romantic. I wouldn't necessarily say that we're not romantic people, we're just not engaging in romantic activity as of late.

A typical Monday for us:

Brian gets up, takes the dog out and heads to work. I get up, take the dog out again, feed the cats, feed the dog, get ready and go to work. Brian gets home from work and takes the dog out. I get home, change and pack up my things for spin. Brian does some housework while I'm gone and feeds the dog. I teach spin. I chat with a few students, and head home. I shower, we make dinner, we eat. I feed the cats. Sometimes I throw in a load of laundry or empty the dish washer.

Each weekday is a variation of this routine. In. Out. Errands. Second job. Take the dog out. Feed the animals. Work.

When the weekend rolls around we usually have some sort of commitment to attend. I go to a bridal shower, Brian mows the lawn, takes the clippings to the dump and watches the dog. He has a golf tournament. I have a bachelorette party. I come home and take care of the dog. If we amazingly have the weekend off he'll fix something that needs fixing around the house, and I scrub. Scrub something. Because something in the house always needs to be scrubbed - the tub, the dog, the floor, the dishes....scrub, scrub, scrub.

Romance - or anything resembling romance - has flown out the window.

We've recently even resorted to eating off of paper plates in order to reduce the amount of dishes (scrubbing) that needs to be done.

Lately, we've even been going to bed at uneven times. I passed out at 9:30 last night. A bridal magazine to my left, a book on my chest, a cat on my head, a hair clip on Brian's side, and the light on.

We're not married yet, we're still relatively young, and we haven't even added kids into the equation. I'm thinking if the romance has vanished this early in the game, then we're really sca-rewd!

So what is the secret? How do you keep the spark alive? Our spark is definitely still here and we - ahem - do still embrace the spark (if you know what I mean) on a frequent basis. It just seems that the spark embracing has become another task that needs to be penciled into our schedule instead of it being a spontaneous act of, well, romance.

I'm assuming that this is a normal part of life that every couple encounters. Are we happy? Absolutely - We're just exhausted. We need to somehow create a better of balance of work and play. We have the work part down - we just need to work on the play.


Happy Monday.