Friday, December 31, 2010

Adios. Sionara. Peace Out.

In approximately 9 hours 2010 will be gone.

I'm super excited.

I don't know what it is about the beginning of the year that gets me so amped up and excited. I think it has something to do with the ability to make a fresh start. A new diet, a new haircut, a new outlook on life, love, work, whatever. The possibilities are endless.

On another note, I will finally be able to say "I'm getting married this year."

Holy crap.

I wish all of you a safe, happy, and healthy New Year!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

To My Animal Lovers....

There are some days when taking Simon for a walk irritates the living h*ll out of me.
It's too cold. It's too wet. It's too late. I'm too busy.....

And then when I'm actually out in the neighborhood walking along the quiet side streets and listening to the rhythm of Simon's breath, I am happy that he has forced me out into the crisp air. I start to listen to the rhythm of my own breath and become aware of the rhythm of my feet.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Inhale. Exhale. Left. Right. Left. Right. Inhale. Exhale.

It's actually quite calming. I look down at Simon who always smiles up at me as if to say, "See Mom, walks are the bomb."

It's hard to admit it - but the dog has got a point.

Thanks Simon.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I Invented Roll It

A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon + this video =

Wicked Funny!

Happy Weekend!

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I had a newbie in my class tonight.

I sure do love me some newbies.

Apparently, this young lady was dragged kicking and screaming by her girlfriend to her very first spin class.

Yay for me.

Upon entering the classroom I was summoned by said girlfriend to help with bike set up.

"Can you help us set up her bike, it's her VERY first time."

Can you kiss my ass?

"Of course I will, I'll be right over!" **Insert phony exercise instructor enthusiasm here**

I saunter over to the newbie who was standing next to her bike with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

"Ok, can you hop on the bike so I can figure out what needs to be adjusted?"

Get your a*s on the bike, and figure this out yourself.

The newbie gets on the bike, still scowling, and asks "Now what?"

"Ok, well put your sneakers in the foot cage so that I can figure out what we should adjust."

Newbie replies, "Why am I going to put my foot in there if I'm just going to have to get off the bike to adjust it?"

Put your foot in the f*cking foot cage before I break it off!

"Well we want to make sure we properly adjust your bike in order to prevent injury." **Insert even phonier exercise instructor smile here**

I eventually manage to correctly adjust the newbie's bike. With a big smile on my face I ask her, "So, how does it feel?"

"Like a bike," she replies.

I clench my jaw and force my hands down by my side in order to NOT knock this pissy girl off the bike and onto her a*s.

"Well, is it comfortable?"

Go to hell evil newbie SKANK!

"Uh, I guess. Feels like a bike."

I decide to drop the issue of bike set up and instead move on to bike positions.

"Ok, there are three positions...."

"What," she exclaims still scowling, "there are positions?!"

Listen you ignorant, snooty, pain in my FREAKING a*s, I don't really care if you stay or leave or like spin or hate it or hurt yourself or fall of the bike and crack your head open because I'm still getting paid for the hour whether you break a sweat or not. So shut up, sit down, and more importantly SHUT UP!

"Yes, three of them actually."

I explained all of the positions and showed her how to operate the resistance knob, and then sauntered back to the front of the room to teach the class.

At the end of class, I asked the Newbie, "So what do you think?"

With a scowl she replied, "I didn't hate it."

What she probably didn't realize was that I hated her. She probably has no idea that I'm talking smack about her ALLL OVER the internet right now.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dance-y Part Deux

I've never played the drums. I, however, play pretty mean air drums to this song. I really should be listening to Christmas Carols this time of year, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it....

Someone was on some good drugs when they came up with the concept of this video....reminds me of a cross between Alice in Wonderland and Beetlejuice.

So fabulous to dance to...double claps and all....

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Brian is having a hard time accepting the fact that at any moment, at any time of the day, good week, bad week, happy and/or sad.......I will instantaneously break out into a solo dance party in the kitchen.

The selection for this week:

He is happy, however, that I've given Ms. Gaga a break.....I think if he hears Poker Face one more time I might be sleeping on the deck....

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Party Animal. Literally.

Simon and his brothers and sisters turn 1 on December 7th. Simon's brother MacGregor hosted a birthday bash on Sunday for all the pups.

Simon loved sporting his birthday hat and birthday bandanna.

They even had cake made with peperoni and turkey. Simon thought it was delicious.

It's hard to believe that these little darlings.....

Aren't so little anymore. Simon & Brian are second in from the right.

Simon's brother Teddie is partied out!

Happy 1st birthday Newfies!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

This Is My Winter Song To You

For a greater part of my life I slept about 18 inches away from my little sister. We had matching twin beds parallel to each other separated only by a small bedside table that we shared. We had one little lamp that we would fight over.

"I want it on," she would whine.
"I want it off," I would whine back.

We were also just a leg stretch and an arms reach away from each other. When she would annoy me, I could easily kick her or her bed and she could easily slap me over the head with her pillow without having to move nothing but her arm. She would get angry with me because I would leave clothes on the floor. I would get angry with her when I would wake up at 1 a.m. to find her laughing at a Simpsons episode.

"I have to get up and go to work. Shut the TV off," I would hiss.
"Shut up," she'd retort, "I'll lower it."

I shared a room with my sister as early as 1984 when she was sleeping in a crib, up until I finally made my last and final move "out" at 26, approximately 6 years ago. Growing up, I envied girls that had their own bedroom. I envied the space and the ability to decorate as they saw fit. I envied their ability to have friends over in their bedroom without their little sister saying, "hey, this is MY room TOO!" I envied girls that didn't have to leave the room to talk on the phone with boys.

So what does sharing a room with my little sister have to do with the holidays?

When Christmas morning would roll around, I would awaken to a pair of wide green eyes 2 inches from my face. A head smothered with blond ringlet curls would whisper:

"Wake up Sia, let's open presents!!"

When I was younger, I would get up and go downstairs with her. When I was a teenager, I would roll over and grumble and tell her to leave me alone.

What? I was a hormonal teenager!

As I grew into a young adult and moved out of the house, I would still spend the night at my mom's on Christmas Eve. The "wake up to open presents" changed to "wake up, have some coffee, and then open presents." For the last three years, I would purchase a matching pair of pajamas for us to wear on Christmas Eve. This was Christmas 2008:

Last year, I stayed in my own home Christmas Eve. I purchased matching pajamas, but I wasn't at my mom's house to wear them with my sister. To be honest, not waking up next to my little sister on Christmas morning absolutely breaks my heart. I suppose I need to grow up and accept the fact that I'm getting married and starting a new life with new traditions. Unfortunately, it just doesn't feel the doesn't feel like Christmas without her, and that makes me so very sad.

Looking back I feel so fortunate to have cohabited in such a small space with such a wonderful sister. I cherish the relationship we have and I realize how unique and special it is when others ask, "don't you two EVER fight?" Our answer is always a shoulder shrug followed with a "nah, not really." Don't get me wrong, we had our squabbles and our name calling and our "your so stupids," but it never really lasted beyond that moment. We always seemed to patch things up rather quickly with an all out raging dance party in our teeny tiny bedroom.

There is a song and a video that reminds me of the times I've spent with my sister back in the day in our little bedroom.....

I wish I could have those days back again.

Love you lil' sis :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tips On Tipping?

Welcome to December 1st everyone - the 25 day countdown to the biggest holiday of the year is officially on. My goal this month is to blog holiday/season related posts every day up until and on Ho, Ho, Ho Christmas.

It's a goal. A big one. Hopefully I will be able to reach it.

Anywho, I wanted to officially kick of the holiday season with a topic that seems to have exploded onto the scene as of, well, today. Depending on who you speak with, this topic can be rather controversial.

Drum rolllllllllllll - Holiday tipping.

According to most tipping experts (who are these people?) tipping during the holidays should be more then what you would normally tip during the rest of the year. According to these experts (does becoming an expert require an advanced degree?) tipping 10%-15% is a thing of the past and 20% and up is the new norm. These experts also suggest to tip individuals such as our mail carriers and our trashmen. According to reports I've read, it is suggested to offer $20 to your mailman and $20 to EACH of the men that pick up your garbage. They also suggest a heftier tip for your favorite barista, hairdresser and manicurist.

My own opinion? Why? Why is it that we have to tip some people and not others? I understand that some professions are more service orientated then others but isn't every job on some level providing a service for someone somewhere? Although I respect and am thankful that I have a trashman that picks up my trash every single week I can't help but wonder WHY I should be tipping them. That is what they get paid for. It's their job. Drive around. Stop. Pick up trash. Drive around. Stop. Pick up trash. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

It would be different if Mr. Trash Man assisted in helping me bring trash from INSIDE the house to the curb - that is going beyond what he gets paid to do and I would absolutely provide a tip. But a tip for doing what you get paid to do anyway? That doesn't make sense. An argument I've heard is that trashmen deserve a tip because their job is so gross and disgusting and they pick up our trash and it smells and ewwwwww......

Sssssssssooooo if I'm understanding the argument correctly - these individuals CHOSE to embark on a profession that involves handling stinky, smelly trash and I'm supposed to reward them extra for the profession they've chosen - that they are getting paid for? If that were the case, then I deserve a hug for every client that slams the door in my face because although I chose to go into a profession that involves cold calling and dealing with rotten people it is necessary for others to coddle me.

Yeah exactly - wouldn't happen.

And the postal workers? My mailman, who is a lovely gentleman, rolls up to my mailbox in his truck, does not need to get out of the truck, opens the box, and slides my mail in. Then he collects a paycheck. What am I tipping exactly? If I were unable to get to my mailbox because I was elderly or handicap and the mailman delivered my mail directly into my hands inside the house, then yes, tip deserved.

Why do we need to tip waiters and waitresses more during the holidays? I traditionally always tip a smidgen more than 20% because I always round up to the nearest dollar, move the decimal over to determine 10% and then double that number. If the server is exceptional, I will leave a little more.

But why are we expected to give more than normal during the holidays? My clients don't send more business my way because it's the holidays. So once again why some professions and not others? Why do we need to reward extra for someone just doing what they are supposed to do because it is their job?

To be fair I have never worked in a profession that involved tipping, therefore I have no idea what it's like to depend on tipping for income. I understand that good money can be made in these types of professions, but I am not the type of person that could deal with a varying income from week to week. I like to know exactly how much I'm making week to week and if I made an added commission based on how hard I worked then wonderful.

So what's the deal? Is anyone passing out extra money this holiday season? If you are, who are you tipping extra? Why are you tipping extra and how much extra?