Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Expletive. The Sequel.

I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up........

Up 1 lb.

Down 2.8 and then up 1.

Up yours stupid scale.

I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up.......

I'm discouraged and want to hurl myself into a delicious pint of oh so creamy, chocolaty, yummy, minty, ice cream. With a dollop of peanut butter. Doused with hot fudge.....

I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up........

Instead of running full speed into the kitchen I've tucked myself into bed.

I'm not getting up.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Stupid scale.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Monday Randomness & Catching Up

* I lost 2.8lbs at my weigh in last week. Not too shabby, but still not where I would like to be after 3 weeks of hard word, no drinking, no creamy coffee consumption, and no decadent desserts.

* I am back to drinking coffee (Lent failure #1) and allowed myself a few cocktails (Lent failure #2) and some dessert (Lent failure #3) over the weekend in celebration of my husband's birthday.

* Jesus called. He's pissed at me.

* I've vowed to re-give up desserts and alcoholic beverages for the remainder of Lent.

* Jesus called back. He's forgiven me.

* The coffee.....not so sure I can go through the withdrawals again, so I might have to re-adjust my Lenten plans ever so slightly.

* I bought my husband a birthday card today. It's the first card that I've purchased that is intended for a "husband" since I became a wife back in September.

* I forgot to buy my husband a Valentine's Day card which is why THIS card is the first "husband" card I've purchased since being married.

* Brian won't let me live down the "forgot to buy my husband a Valentine's Day card," mishap.

* I'm getting sick, but have convinced myself that it's allergies.

* I took last Friday and yesterday off, and I don't want to go back to work tomorrow.

* Maybe I will call out sick......

Happy Monday!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Friends Don't Let Friends Wear Bad Perfume

Why is it that some women feel the need to douse themselves with perfume PRIOR to going to the gym?

And why is it always the women that wear the most putrid scents that spritz themselves too death?

It's never the lady with the great smelling expensive sh*t.

It's usually the lady with the 1985 drug store special.

This is me officially giving all of you permission to notify me if I'm ever guilty of smelling like a cheap saloon hussy.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I was hoping (praying, begging, yearning) for all of my hard work over the last two weeks to be finally paying off. I stepped on the scale tonight beaming with pride because I knew I had watched what I ate and exercised religiously. I turned down sweets, fried foods, booze and instead nourished my body with whole grains, fresh vegetables, succulent fruits and lean protein.

"I had a good week," I exclaimed to the Weight Watchers representative as I climbed valiantly onto the scale.

"I tracked everything!"

I stood waiting on the scale for the WW rep to tell me I was down .2 or .4 or maybe even an entire pound.

Her voice dropped as she quietly proclaimed, "you're actually up .4."

So the measly .4 that I dropped last week has returned. Despite my best efforts.

What to the F*ck?!?!?!

I fought back discouraged tears and forced myself to attend my weekly Weight Watcher meeting instead of hurling myself out the door and into the safety of my car.

I sat down and listened as other woman shared their success.

"I'm down a total of ten pounds - I think it's because I'm walking more."

Insert beaming overweight lady here.

Yes, I'm happy for the overweight lady and her weight loss. I'm glad she is on the right path to living healthy. But walking more? What? I walk every morning for 30 minutes because that's how long it takes the dog to figure which lawn is suitable to drop his crap bombs. I teach one, two, THREE spin classes a week and take kickboxing and muscle flex class. I haven't had a drop to drink, I haven't been eating dessert, and I'm STILL not losing weight.......

On to phase two: My alarm is set for 5:00 am tomorrow. I'm adding an additional gym visit in the morning to see if it aids in budging my weight loss. Allow me to rephrase that - I'm adding an additional gym visit in the morning to see if it aids in STARTING my weight loss.

Damn lady that lost 10lbs by walking more.....hate her......

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


It's really very sad.

Sad is an understatement. Down right depressing is more like it.

I've gained 10lbs since the wedding.

That's 10lbs in 6 months.

6 months.




Wait - scratch the how. I know how. We all know "how" things like this happen. It happens with that extra glass of wine on top of the glass of wine that you shouldn't be having in the first place because it's Tuesday. There really is no need to have one glass of wine on a Tuesday, nevermind two glasses.

We won't even go into the weekend wine drinking......

It's that dessert at the end of every dinner whether your eating out or eating in because you just can't have dinner without having dessert. Dessert is hard to come by you know. This could be the last time that dessert will be available to you because the world could possibly run out of dessert.....so you should eat up now.....

It's that tablespoon of peanut butter every night at 10pm, because instead of convincing yourself that you're tired you somehow convince yourself that you're hungry and unable to get a good nights rest without the delicious-ness that is peanut butter.

It's skipping the gym because you had a rough day at work, it's raining, your gym clothes are dirty, your cat misses you, and you have cramps. Or a headache. Or a tummy ache.

I know how. I know exactly how.

I came up with a plan - A short term 40 day plan to kick off the weight loss and to kick my will-power back into gear.

I gave up a bunch of stuff for lent.

I know, I know, not exactly the "meaning" behind giving up stuff for lent, but overall it's still a sacrifice.

I decided to give up booze, desserts, and coffee. The booze has been pretty easy - I really don't miss it at all. The desserts - even the desserts aren't weighing too heavy on me.

The hardest has been the coffee.

Why did I give up the coffee?

I've been drinking about two cups a day, and unfortunately, I'm not the skim milk with my coffee kind of gal. I like cream. And sugar. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't kick the cream & sugar habit.

So I gave it up all together.

I'm only down 0.4 which is extremely disappointing, but I'm not giving up.

Hopefully I won't harm anyone due to the lack of caffeine.....