Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Miss Manners? Not So Much.

This past Christmas I received this book from my mother:

I think she might be trying to tell me something.



I have not had the opportunity to actually sit down and read this book from cover to cover as it's a really large book. I did, however, flip to the wedding section today as I'm preparing to send out my save the dates for our upcoming September nuptials.

Now, I like to consider myself someone that is poised and classy. Someone that says "please," and "thank you." Someone that makes eye contact when being introduced and doesn't shake hands like a wet noodle.

I thought I was down with the art of etiquette.

No comments from the peanut gallery. Ahem.

I discovered that I'm not up to code, if you will, on my etiquette.

How many of you were under the impression that you had up to a year to send someone a wedding gift?

Come on....how many??

According to page 671 of Emily Post's Etiquette 17th Edition:

"Traditionally, gifts may be sent as soon as the wedding invitation arrives, and some may come earlier if people know for certain that they'll be invited. Most guests send gifts before the wedding, but gifts may arrive afterward, particularly if the wedding is held on short notice. It is pure myth that guests have up to a year after a wedding to send gifts. Gifts should be delivered as close to the wedding date as possible, but circumstances such as an invitee's illness may cause a delay, and couples shouldn't question a late arrival."

Page 709 reads:

"Don't I have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift? No. This is another myth. Gifts should be sent before the wedding or as soon after the wedding date as possible."

Can you believe this? I can't tell you how many times I've heard friend's say, "Thank goodness I have a year to send a gift - I'm broke." I've personally never waited the year. I'd rather get the money giving out of the way right off the bat. I did however like that I at least had the option to wait if I wanted.

I can only imagine what other etiquette mishaps I've been making....


  1. I got that book a few years ago from my Mom! And although I wondered what her hidden agenda was, I really have come to enjoy the book! It's got such a wide scope of info in it - basically any situation you could think of!
    As I was browsing the Wedding Planners in Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago I noticed that her daughter published a WEDDING etiquette book. Of course I had to have it.

  2. I have that book! I love it.

    Did it help with the Save the Dates?

  3. At some point, I became aware of the one year rule. However, it is certainly not widely (if at all) accepted by our society. I have never heard of this happening. Janellie