Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Honest Scrap

I've been severely neglecting my blog. We have managed to get Simon on a pretty tight schedule. Up at 5:30 am. Back in his crate at 8:30 pm. This doesn't give me much time for laundry and cleaning and time spent with the kitties. I'm working on getting my schedule, well, back on a schedule. I will start up blogging again with 10 interesting facts about myself. Thank you to Mrs. D for bestowing upon me this most distinguished honor!

I am to list 10 interesting things about myself, and then pass the award along...So here goes.....

1) I am absolutely crazy for Law & Order Special Victims Unit. For those of you not familiar with this show, it's basically Law & Order - with some sort of crazy sex crime twist. Child pornography, incest, rape - you name it, they cover it. I especially love when the USA Network runs an entire Sunday SVU marathon. It's especially great when I have multiple loads of laundry to fold or nails to paint or magazines to read. SVU is one of my favorite ways to spend a Sunday.

2) Speaking of television - I LOVES me some Maury Povich. Yup, that's right. I. LOVE. IT.
"In the case of baby Waneesha; Tyrone....you are NOT the father." And that's when some portly woman from the south (no offense to southerners) goes running off the stage with her big 'ole boobies bouncing every which way, leaving Tyrone to jump up and down thanking Baby Jesus that Waneesha isn't his 19th child.

"Ohhhhh my gooooodness.....whyyyyyyy....noooooooo." That's when Maury begins his piss poor attempt at consoling poor Waneesha's mother.

"We've tested 5 men. We'll help you find the father. You just take care of that baby." If you watch Maury closely, you can see the disgust in his face. You can actually hear is inner monologue:

"For the love of GOD woman, keep them legs closed. GEESH - 5 dudes. My goodness. I can't believe this is my career."

Yup. Love it.

3) I hate it when people yawn, and don't cover their mouths. My seventh grade teacher REQUIRED that when we yawn, we had to cover our mouths. I can remember her saying "I don't want to look out into the class, and see your mouths open. I do not want to look down your throats." Now it bugs the sh*t out of me when someone in close range begins to yawn, and doesn't cover up. I don't want to see the punching bag at the back of your throat. I don't want to see threads of spit joining your upper teeth with your lower teeth. Please. Cover. Your. Mouth.

4) Since we are on the subject of covers - my BFF from college and former roommate, Ashley, required that both toilet seats be down when not in use. I didn't understand the logic behind this at first. I didn't really see what the big deal was. But then she explained it to me - the cover is there for a reason.

AHHHHHHHHHH, good point. To this DAY I can't stand looking into a bowl. Go in the bathroom, lift the seat, do your business, put the seat down, THEN FLUSH. I'm not sure if you know this, but when you flush with the lid up, everything within a 6 foot diameter gets coated with tiny aerosolized particles from the ole commode.

Where do you keep your toothbrush?

5) The reason I know that little fun fact is because my Undergraduate degree is in Microbiology. Most people don't know that I once worked in a laboratory playing with petri dishes and E. coli.
It's hard to believe that I actually know and understand DNA replication, genetics, viruses vs. bacteria, immunology, and my favorite - genetics of prokaryotic microbes. Say what? On most days, I wouldn't be able to find my way out of a paper bag....but I could explain how vaccinations work in preventing infections. Or why antibiotics work on bacteria and not on viruses. Or why you might want to stay away from baby carrots.......

6) I drool. Profusely. When I sleep.
I think it's getting worse as I get older...

7) I have zero desire to be a Mom. I love babies, and I love my friend's babies. I love to kiss them, and cuddle them, and snuggle them, and make funny little gurgly noises, and to call them funny little corny names.....but I have no desire to actually push one through my vag, and then raise one. Kids are wonderful....I just don't know if I'm cut out to have them.

8) I have this insatiable desire to sell all of my earthly possessions, and relocate to the Caribbean.

9) I can read and write Greek, but can't speak or understand a lick of it.

10) When I was ten, I convinced the neighborhood kids that I was married to Michael Jackson, and that he was living in my apartment with me, my mother, and my baby sister. I don't know which is worse - the fact that I was telling such brazen lies, or the fact that the neighborhood kids actually believed me.....

I pass this honor on to:

A little bit of this
Auburn Kat
She's Got Chutzpah
These Little Moments
This Is How It's Supposed To Be
Together They Come

Hmmmm, that's only 6. Oh well, I'm special - I can get away with breaking the rules a bit....

Have a great day!


  1. I LOVE this!

    1. Yes - SVU = awesome. Elliot Stabler is on my laminated list.
    2. Hi. Lar. Eee. Us.
    3. Agree.
    4. OMG. This is a new germ-related issue for me to obsess over.
    5. Awesome.
    6. Yes - me too.
    7. YES. ME TOO.
    8. Ahhh... sunshine...
    9. Impressive!
    10. You crack me up!

  2. Thanks! Ahh my blog is in need of some help/love.

  3. I must know why I shouldn't eat the baby carrots! I always thought they were funny looking. Oh my gosh you crack me up about Maury. I didn't know he was on anymore!! I'll do my ten tomorrow...