Ghosts

I miss my friends.

I miss having breakfast together. I miss making plans to meet after class at the dining hall. I miss being able to have lunch with my friends for two hours. I miss knowing that they were meeting me for dinner. I miss taking off my makeup and brushing my teeth next to them while we discussed the day. I miss our weekends of fun sprinkled with bouts of homework. I miss sitting on bunk beds, and bean bags, and futons talking about where we had been and where we were going.

I miss all the laughter. I miss the "let's grab coffee," and "let's grab frozen yogurt," and "let's grab pizza." I miss the drives to the beach, and the drives to go shopping, and the drives just for the sake of driving because we had nothing to do and nowhere to be.

I miss being your whole world, and your shoulder to cry on, and your inspiration, and your go to gal. I miss being the one you asked first about everything - what to wear, who to make out with, whether to call.

I miss telling you to call.

I miss telling you not to call.

I miss the music, and the dancing, and the late nights drinking what we shouldn't be drinking, and smoking what we shouldn't be smoking. I miss the adventures of beer pong in the fraternity basement and dance parties at the football house. I miss knowing that I will see my friends in a few hours.

I miss your tears, and your smiles, and your laughter. I miss the brutal honesty and the transparency and the fact that you never told me what I wanted to hear. I miss you telling me what I needed to hear.

I miss you and most of all I miss the person I was when I was with you.

I haven't been the same since.