Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I was hoping (praying, begging, yearning) for all of my hard work over the last two weeks to be finally paying off. I stepped on the scale tonight beaming with pride because I knew I had watched what I ate and exercised religiously. I turned down sweets, fried foods, booze and instead nourished my body with whole grains, fresh vegetables, succulent fruits and lean protein.

"I had a good week," I exclaimed to the Weight Watchers representative as I climbed valiantly onto the scale.

"I tracked everything!"

I stood waiting on the scale for the WW rep to tell me I was down .2 or .4 or maybe even an entire pound.

Her voice dropped as she quietly proclaimed, "you're actually up .4."

So the measly .4 that I dropped last week has returned. Despite my best efforts.

What to the F*ck?!?!?!

I fought back discouraged tears and forced myself to attend my weekly Weight Watcher meeting instead of hurling myself out the door and into the safety of my car.

I sat down and listened as other woman shared their success.

"I'm down a total of ten pounds - I think it's because I'm walking more."

Insert beaming overweight lady here.

Yes, I'm happy for the overweight lady and her weight loss. I'm glad she is on the right path to living healthy. But walking more? What? I walk every morning for 30 minutes because that's how long it takes the dog to figure which lawn is suitable to drop his crap bombs. I teach one, two, THREE spin classes a week and take kickboxing and muscle flex class. I haven't had a drop to drink, I haven't been eating dessert, and I'm STILL not losing weight.......

On to phase two: My alarm is set for 5:00 am tomorrow. I'm adding an additional gym visit in the morning to see if it aids in budging my weight loss. Allow me to rephrase that - I'm adding an additional gym visit in the morning to see if it aids in STARTING my weight loss.

Damn lady that lost 10lbs by walking more.....hate her......


  1. Your writing is incredible, so funny, and so REAL :) You are amazing to have such a packed work out routine, and you are already my hero for teaching spin in the first place.